Thursday, 19 April 2012

I'm Famous!

The amazing non-story of a bunch of queers bickering on Facebook has made the front page of the Oxford Student - Oxford's very own trashy tabloid/village gazette/Take A Break magazine rip-off. Next to a picture of some alpacas. On the one hand, I'm very pleased about this, especially the fact that they've included a quote from me. But then I saw what they'd put and my blood began to boil. I have been misquoted.The article starts out sounding reasonably balanced, detailing one mini-episode
The dispute has intensified after a number of blog posts about the incident were posted online, including one by Alex Gabriel, an undergraduate studying English and German. Tom Oakley, a student at Hertford, posted a link to the blog post on the Facebook group on Monday, to which Webb, replied: “ Right, Tom, posting that here wasn’t in any way provocative….”
Which is all true. But then later in the article they forget about journalistic integrity and go absolutely nuts.
Oakley added: “Basically they’re acting like we’re naughty schoolboys and can’t be trusted with their precious internet… some people are being ridiculously oversensitive, for example pretending to be really offended by the fact that a female member of the group said something along the lines of ‘can we have more girls turning up to events’ and someone took huge offense to not being referred to as ‘women’.” He went on to say: “The person in question is lovely in person but she really needs to get a life when it comes to being offended about things on the internet.”

In the extremely long and unstructured email I sent to the OxStu, the bit I said about naughty schoolboys was definitely after the bit about people being oversensitive. Yet, in this article they have done the opposite. They put my sentence  about naughty schoolboys before the bit about people being oversensitive. I'm completely outraged. You can't just quote people in the wrong order. What would happen if journalists did that? Terrible things. For example, we could turn this passage:
Another student, Eli Keren, also posted: “I don’t think that it’s going to help anyone if we risk descending into another public tiff. That’s not what this group is for.”
into this:
Another student, Eli Keren, also posted: “I ... think ... this group is for ... descending into another public tiff ... not ... to help anyone.”
Student journalists, what do you think you're playing at? If the Oxford Student had reported the Monica Lewinsky scandal, they'd have probably come up with the following headline:
Clinton: I did ... have sexual relations with that woman
Clinton: I want to ... have sexual relations with ... the American people

I'm obviously very upset about this, I have sought legal counsel (spoken to my friend Charlie who studies law) and I'm hoping the Leveson Inquiry might be interested in me giving evidence. Apparently a second-law student isn't the same thing as a proper lawyer but I think we can do this. The Oxford Student must apologise for this.

Seeing as the non-Murdoch press took quite a big interest in all that phone-hacking stuff and apparently 'pointless online beefing' counts as news, I'm hoping this story might be picked up by a more serious publication, like The Cherwell or The Oxford Mail, or perhaps a national broadsheet. If you're a journalist and are looking to run this story, here's a few pictures of me and my lawyer going over some case notes that you could use to help illustrate the seriousness of the matter.

or not, as Charlie doesn't think I'm being funny by posting photos that are already in plain sight to all 664 of her facebook friends. Instead, I'll give a description. 

Me eating Charlie's hair

Me and Charlie dancing badly, dressed in white t-shirts with writing all over them (it was freshers' week)

Charlie ramming her tongue down my throat


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